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Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide, use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep, that’s how you wash a cup.
Police officer: “Can you identify yourself, sir?”
The driver pulls out his mirror and says: “Yes, it’s me.”
Boy; Your singing beautifully!
Girl: Thanks but I’m a bathroom singer.
Boy: Then invite me to your live show!
Knock, Knock,
who’s there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.
You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night.
Bitch swear they Baby Smarter than every other Baby.. “My Baby can count to 10” Bitch he’s 18 years old, he supposed to!
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
You remind me of my Chinese friend… Ug Lee.
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there’s no domestic violence going on.
I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
Doctor: Mrs. Anita good news for you! Girl: What do you mean Mrs. Anita? I’m Miss Anita! Doctor: Oh! Sorry, Miss Anita…Bad news for you!
What did right boob say to the left one – you are my “breast friend”
What're the differences between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? – Lipstick
When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think its cute. I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
“Mother, why do people die so quickly in our family?”
…
“Mama?”
“Mama?”
“Maaaammaaaaaaa!”
With just a single kiss on the Lips for 30 seconds, she Got Pregnant..! . . . .Who is she?. . . . Balloon!
Pappu went to the doctors the other day and said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave Pappu a kite.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl, which machine I can use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM.”
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
My wife looked at me with her sexy eyes & said “I want you to make me scream with only two fingers” so I poked her in the eyes.
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