Some Excellent One Liner Quotes

Some Excellent One Liner Quotes are listed below:

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. And mosquitoes like a blood donation.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down, just like my phone when I discover TikTok.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even excuses for being late.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads. Now, even my laptop thinks I need a holiday.

My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I wrote them all down and published a bestseller.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field, and his speeches were a real ear of corn.

I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm a comedian because I need the dough.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised, just like her new portrait.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. The third mouse starts a cheese shop.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts, and it always ends in a bone-chilling experience.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally, I had to take his bike away. Now he's into skateboarding.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down, much like my enthusiasm for dad jokes.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.

My wife challenged me to a pillow fight. That's when I realized we had different definitions of what a pillow fight is.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She laughed and showed me our wedding photos.

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I just loaf around.

Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads. Even my laptop wants me to take a break from it.

My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I hugged my boss and said, "I'm staying home today."

Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian? Because he had a lot of corny jokes up his sleeve.

I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now I'm a banker because I kneaded dough with interest.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. And they're all backbone and no bite.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally, I had to take his bike away. Now, he's into cardio chasing.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down, just like my snacks during movie night.

I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm a gardener because I've really grown.

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. But it's okay, it solved them all eventually.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. Now she's hugging the remote control and calling it "TV time well spent."

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even fake apologies.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already, and I'm starting to suspect that whiskey has more calories than I thought.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads. My computer is the only one encouraging my procrastination.

My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I opened my arms wide and knocked over a lamp. Mistake embraced.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his scare-reer!

I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now, I'm just in it for the doughnut breaks.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts, and they're always a little too spineless.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally, I had to take his bike away. Now he's just chasing his tail in circles.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down, especially in zero-gravity environments.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with. She said yes, the others were all imaginary.

My wife challenged me to a staring contest. I blinked, and she said, "Well, I guess you win at not winning."

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Talk about saucy gossip.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers. Apparently, ears aren't great for playing music.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you." I haven't been back since.